Animal Musings

The Giraffe – now they’re interesting, giraffes are silent, through choice because they have nothing interesting to say.

The Rabbit – rabbits percieve the universe as the inside of a giant hat, this is why they are so docile with magicians

The Penguin – where is the tax relief for buying a penguin. Sliding scale, larger the penguin greater the tax relief. I’ve already got my order in for an Emporer penguin, I may need to cancel it. Why are the government ignoring the strategic penguin sector. Everybody has a penguin – this revitalises the fishing industry – fishing villages are all on the coast so all the online purchases they make are transported by rickshaw – more rickshaws, more employment for rickshaw drivers – more rickshaw drivers more houses required. Gets the housing market moving again.

The Hound of the Baskervilles – “It was a large and vicious hound, Holmes”. “So, Watson you were able to judge its size and demeanor from the timbre of a single bark”. “Holmes ?” “Have you read my monograph on the dog, Watson, clearly not or you would not so readily make such a fallacious statement”

Cartoon Pigs – Porky pig, Miss Piggy, Pinky & Perky, Piglet. Have you ever seen or read anything about these. If so you could be at risk from “fictional swine flu”. Much, much worse than real swine flu, because its fictional. There is no known cure.