The Wicker Sausage of Marden

As the summer solstice nears preparations are underway in the small Kentish village (or village of Kent) of Marden. The children of the village have been collecting wicker and passing them on the the village elders who have woven them into a giant wicker sausage, a sausage large enough to contain a man.

Traditionally each year the villagers select one man to be “The Fifi” and ancient hermaphroditic fertility god/goddess.

It has been the honour of The Major to be selected as “The Fifi” for the last 3 years and he is hoping to be choosing again this year.

As these are less savage times the villagers no longer sacrifice the man in the sausage (or the baby with the baboon heart), instead they paint the Fifi in shades of orange, red and yellow, to simulate the flames and allow him/her to light the fire that will with time reduce the wicker sausage to ashes.

To complete the ritual the ashes are mixed with sausage fat. This thick greasy paste is then used by all villagers to draw an ouroboros above their doors to ward off the evil spirits of the Tobymen who haunt the Kentish night.

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