Stargazing with the Porklord

Alas the eclipse was a failure in Vauxhall due to the either the high level of pollution or the low level of cloud.

Sensing our disappointment the Porklord asked if there were anything he could do for us. We had a think and we believe there is.

I won’t bore you with all of the maths but some is needed to explain his generous act.

The diameter of the sun is approximately 400 time that of the moon, but it is also 400 times further away, and this is why we get eclipses, one can cover the other completely.

Now if we assume the diameter of the Porklord is 1.8 metres then he is about 77000 time smaller than the sun. If he were 77,000 time closer how far away from us would he need to be to eclipse the sun.

It turns out that he only needs to be 19.5 metres away.

He has volunteered that next time the sun comes out to stand 19.5m away from us, directly in front of the sun to replicate the eclipse for us.

Truly he is the gift that keeps on giving – the Mother Teresa of Marden.

All Hail the Porklord, for the seed of the Porklord is strong.


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