Their eyes meet…

…across the divide between their desks. The Archduke had been looking for a strong man to look after him. Nigel Farage and Vladimir Putin had spurned his advances. Would the Porklord be equally cruel.

They had organised a secret tryst among the peri-peri and the chicken at the local Nandos. Alas they could not be alone as Clearance Carl had turned up as well. However once a picture of the Flame Haired Temptress was placed in front of him he was lost in reverie.

The Porklord clasped the Archduke to his ample besom (yes he had a large broom) and whispered sweet nothings in the Archduke’s ear.

“Come away with me to the Casbah’ he crooned, “Let us share the love that should not speak it’s name, among the camels and the dust and the flies”

Never forget he said “The seed of the Porklord is strong”

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