Room 101

Every friday at work Kernel Flapjack publishes his 5 on Friday, a round up of news and events on the account over the last week.

The last couple of weeks he has included a feature where he ask someone working on the account which 3 items they would include in Room 101. Last friday was my turn.

Here they are (a word of warning, Sarah who was the previous week, thanked me because I “made her seem more sane”)

“This week we have the views of the normally quiet and rarely outspoken, Infinitepirate (TDA, Southbank):

  1. Dogs – People say that dogs are man’s best friend, rubbish. They are wild animals, vermin just waiting to rip your face off. This is all dogs, those ones that help blind people, just biding their time. Rescue dogs, them as well, why do you think they rescue people, they are lining them up for their next victim. They just have good PR, look at all those fictional dogs, Pluto, Lassie, Wellard, Digby, 101 Dalmatians. I was cheering for Cruella De Vil there. The only accurate representation of a dog in fiction is Cujo. Why you ask, well when I was 4 I was bitten by a poodle, you may think this has coloured my views, no all it has done is confirm them.
  2. Jazz – Jazz, a small group of musicians all playing the wrong tune. No one likes Jazz, some people claim to, but no one really does. It’s just a discordant noise. Push a man in a suit of armour carrying a set of saucepans, sitting on a piano down a flight of stairs. I give you Jazz. Jazz is like the Emperor’s New Clothes of music, we just need someone to say it is tuneless nonsense. I have heard people say you need to “work” at it. Sorry no, no one needed to “work” at Spinning Around by Kylie, more joy and fun in 3 minutes than the entire history of Jazz.
  3. People who don’t vote – “I don’t vote because they are all the same”, “I don’t vote because nothing changes”, “I don’t vote…, I don’t vote… I don’t vote”. People fought and died for your right to vote and you take it for granted and waste it. This is your chance to have a say, but no you would sooner whinge about not being able to park at the polling station. Ok it’s not perfect buts it’s one of the few legitimate vehicles for change we have. You don’t vote, well don’t come moaning to me when elected politicians do something you don’t like, you don’t have a voice, I can’t hear you. Go back to your apathy. I always vote, every election, local, national, European, referendum, every one since 1979. I care, if you don’t, then don’t waste my time.  “

 

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